Health24 Sex Survey Review - Q11-20

And so the review continues (you can see Q1-10 here) ... no responses/comments on yesterdays post so I am sure I am just not being read ... either that or no one really found it funny ... well fuck em cause I did ;)

11. How, by comparison, was your most recent sexual experience?

Okay everyone seems to think it was 'Much Better' ... well now Im sure that the case cause the most recent time is probably the most recent one you REMEMBER ... dumbasses ... on the other hand with practice comes skill so you will definitely get better with more and more practice ... but come on people are you really that shallow that you can grade every experience ... omg honey we got a 6.0 ... oooooh ... we going to the olympics !!!

Seems barely 3% of the population feels they shouldnt be grading things at all ... then again maybe these guys just couldnt find the 'None of the above' option so picked the one which seemed closest ...

What I really struggle with this question is the baselining ... which appears to be individual based ... therefore if I have crappy sex 99% of the time and the last time was incredible then I will definitely say 'Much Better' ... but if I have great sex all the time but the last time was more ho hum than before then Im gonna answer 'Much more ordinary' (wtf is ordinary sex ?? missionary ? whether you came or not ?? fuck man where are they getting the basis for the questions) ... Then of course I may be having great sex but I always have great sex so my answer will be 'Same' ... well of course but fuck man give me an example of a frigging baseline on which this begins ... are we all sposed to be considered to be having 'shitty' sex and therefore anything better than crap is considered better ... but if we beginning on 'shitty' sex than can it actually get any worse ? /me ponders this

12. Can you remember all the names of all the people you've ever had sex with?

Big up to the women in ZA ... most appear to remember the names of all the guys they have been with ... I spose the better question would be 'Did you collect a personal history from said individuals prior to fucking their brains out ?' ... I mean come on ... whats really in a name ... and did you get his FULL name or just that his friends call him 'Chuck' or 'G-Man' ... do some background checks people ... in a country infested with HIV/Aids the respondents should be saying 100% that they know each and every partner ... cause fuck if you get summing dodge you should be able to let all these poor schmucks know ASAP.

13. Do you enjoy sex?

No surprise here that men pretty much enjoy it all the time ... women on the other hand seem quite torn on this issue but the way is positive in that the majority still feels they at least enjoy it some to all of the time ;) ... once again this is a pretty open question so difficult to gauge on what the overall definition of sex really is ... if I shove my love pole up yer ass and it feels like you gonna have the runs for 6 weeks then I am completely understanding of why you would say you dont enjoy sex ... on the flip side if I go down on you and you smell like that fish and chip shop on Fish Hoek main road ... well yea im probably not gonna enjoy the experience (ymmv cause personally I love a woman's smell - such a turn on) ...

14. Have you ever had sex with?

Maybe its just me but either Cape Town was offline when they initiated this survey or homosexuals in SA are just too camp to come out of the proverbial closet ... only 5% of the guys have been with both men/women or men alone ... I spose both genders have their 'experimental phases' ... just that guys probably experiment once and never go back whilst women ... well women ... you guys take pictures and we pay lots of money to download them online ;) ...

I think the low response from the women is cause maybe they dont quite know how to respond to this ... maybe the strap-on sale was over already and they equate penetration to sex ? the next question seems to validate this cause a load more women seem to have had foreplay than sex with women ... so I am sure the line defining foreplay vs sex is rather gray when it comes to women ...

15. Have you had sexual foreplay with?

Spose the question here is more so around giving and recieving ... with a 'definition' of sex you would assume that this implies both are getting some ... but with foreplay you could really take either role ... so it is highly possible the male respondents figure that 'Well if the shemale sucked me off in Taiwan then can I answer both men and women, I mean I didnt know till she took off her pants and had a bigger dick than me, I swear !!' ... wots surprising here is that I honestly would have believed more women would be bi-curious ... dont you people go to college/university ??

16. Does your sex drive change all the time, or is it pretty constant?

This one is pretty self explanitory most guys are either horny ... or super horny ... dont think it happens too often where a guy doesnt wanna get laid ... yea yea there are times when he will struggle to get it up but damn woman that dont mean he doesnt wanna get laid ... it just means he is maybe stressed cause the Blue Bulls didnt win their last match ...

Women on the other hand go through so many phases in a few minutes let alone an entire month so basically its a hit n miss situation ... sometimes you get laid ... sometimes you dont ... just remember guys a little bit of cuddling and doing the dishes goes a loooong way to getting you to have a more active sex life ;)

Men are like microwaves, women are like an oven, you have to warm the oven up before you can cook in it. ;)

17. (Male) Have you ever had unprotected sex with a partner you weren't in a relationship with?
OMG this is so insane ... in a country like SA where HIV/Aids is such a huge problem and you guys dont remember to use protection ... dont be a fool, wrap your tool !!

17. (Female) How often do you fake an orgasm?

WTF ... how is it that men dont get asked this question ... is it only women who fake it ... man this just shows the ineptitude of our country when they still think that ejaculation = orgasm ... fuck that ... guys once you have had a REAL orgasm you will fucking know when you aint having one ... hate to throw so much FUD to the women out there but I can gaurantee you that at least one of your male partners has 'faked it' just so that he can get his lame-o ass off you and get back to the rugby game ...

Now women ... you are being so fucking stupid by doing this ... sex should be enjoyable for both of you ... if you aint enjoying it and you have to fake it then why the fuck you bothering at all ... believe me when you learn to 'connect' with your partner you will both be having so many mind blowing orgasms that even the thought of faking will seem silly to you too ...

Get over yourselves women ... we (typically) wanna please you as well as you please us ... so therefore give us a fucking helping hand (a fist if you a tad loose down there) ... talk to us ... share what you like even if its a position that we can only hold for all of 6 seconds before our bodies scream out in pleasurable pain ... its all worth it ...

Its no wonder assholes like mentioned by wonderfullyconfused exist ... its all you bloody fakers out there who are creating a damn monster who thinks he is a Don Juan/Casanova wannabe who can please a woman just by pitching up (pun intended).

18. (Male) Have you ever had anal sex?

This is a confusing one ... according to the stats there are around 5% of males who have either been with a 'Men only' or 'Both Women/Men' ... so how they fuck do we get to over 6% of the male population who has RECIEVED anal sex ?? Like WTF are you people lying in your answers or you just dont wanna discuss that 'one weekend you spent in the county lockup' ...

What does surprise me is the 30% of men who seem to be against this ... arent you curious at all ... or maybe you too shy to go buy some lubricant from your local sex shop ... remember KY is available at your local chemist and is used in many other situations other than just anal (though the woman at the counter will definitely know by your boyish grin EXACTLY what you intend it for hehehe)

18. (Female) Have you ever had unprotected sex with a partner you weren't in a relationship with?

Seems women have their heads screwed on a bit tighter than men ... I do have an opinion of why which is that for women its not just VDs they have to worry about but also pregnancy which really (no matter how much he says he will stick by you) becomes her problem a LOT more than the guys ... now if more guys were into anal we could easily assist you here by just shoving it up yer ass rather than having you risk getting pregnant ... VDs will still persist but anal does tend to require a lot more comfort so hopefully you will have gotten his full name this time (at least) ;)

19. (Male) How do you feel about giving oral sex?

This suprised me ... there seems to be a lot of men out there who just loooove munching on that rug ... well guys Im in total agreement here ... you can fuck a woman and she will come back for more ... give her incredible head and she is yours forever !! ;)

19. (Female) Have you ever had anal sex?

Mmmm ... this is where my confusion sets in ... cause according to these numbers 35% of women are getting it up the batty ... yet according to the men only 25% are giving it up the batty ... so where the fuck is the other 10% coming from ladies ... or you and your dildo collection getting REAL chummy ;)

I swear the more I look at these numbers the more im starting to think the collection of morons who responded are a combination of overunderanalsexedassholebitches with no fucking clue how their previous answers are influenced by the rest of the answers ...

20. (Male - Oral) And when you're on the receiving end?

10% of the male population doesnt like getting head ?? WTF ... they even had that as an option ?? Guys ... cum now ... either u just havent recieved a decent blow job or you dont realize that a little trimming goes a loooong way to getting more (and decent) head ... it even makes your twanger look a bit bigger so its all good ... just think how "attractive" it is when she comes up after sucking you love pole only to grin at you with a short n curly sticking out of her recently whitened teeth ... so keep the garden in order and she will come ride your swing far more often ...
20. (Female) How do you feel about giving oral sex?

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies ... so you will let us shove it up your ass ... put it in that pleasurable place between your legs ... but you wont get on yer knees and suck that puppy dry ?? Whilst Ill discuss the rest of the questions in more detail I must mention that how is it fair for you to respond a healthy 55% to getting some dig dug downstairs action but only 30% of you believe its good to give AND recieve ... obviously not knowing the direct relation to these responses it is highly possible that 30% of you are kewl with giving and a completely seperate 55% of you just want your oyster of luvvin licked till you explode with ecstasy ... how the fuck is that fair ...

Damn ladies Im getting rather disappointed with your responses overall ... you all sound a bit prudish in some circumstances but right fucking hoes in others ... put it up yer ass, dont put it up yer ass, lick you, suck me, fuck me outside, or inside, or in view of the next door neighbours dog ... you guys re just so damn difficult ... men ... we just want u to pitch up ... preferrably naked ... a bonus is when you wearing summing kinky like that school girl outfit we bought so we can live out our loss of not getting laid at school ... damn ... sex just sounds difficult when its in survey form ;)

till later